That Bitch in the Cereal Aisle...

I go on different binges at different points. Cereal is one of my more notorious binges where I go months or maybe weeks eating excessive amounts of cereal. This usually makes up for all the months or years I go without eating any cereal.

So my favorite cereal is Life: Cinnamon Swirls and I've already been through one box during this binge. Late last night we were at HEB and I was going to restock.

Location: Cereal Aisle...Life: Cinnamon Swirls...no where to be found. There is a whole big stack of Life regular but a big empty part of the shelf next to it. I leave disappointed...but then I return and look at unopened cartons of cereal on top of the shelf.

I ask an HEB employee if she knows where there may be some Life: Cinnamon. She glances at the shelf and instead of saying,"Oh, we must be out...there is a truck coming (whenever)" or anything other common response she says,"Oh, I think they maybe discontinuing that cereal."

Silence. WTF.

"Really?" I ask as if it is a joke.

"Yeah, they discontinue cereals all the time," she replies.

"Bitch!" I exclaim...in my head. "Really?"

"Yeah," and she goes about her business.

Doesn't she realize the horrid magnitude of the statement she has just utterred.

"Could I open some of these cartons on top of the shelves?" I insisted.

She resists.

I insist. Resist-insist waves bounce back and forth but I don't back down and the lady goes and get a brut to take down the box so I can see.

Of course the box is NOT my sweet, sweet Cinnamon Life.

I leave the store shattered that something I cherished so much has been thrown to the dogs of discontinuence. Only if I could have tasted it more times since my last binge. Why the wretched irony of the extinction of my cereal during my cereal binge of all times?!?

THOU HAFT NO FURY LIKE THE FURY OF A CEREALESS CEREAL BINGER!

That bitch.

So she wasn't really a bitch just a lady doing her job and not understanding the graveness of my plight. If anything I villified her for her ignorance or rather apathy.

After calming down, I was reassured that the store was probably just out of Cinnamon Life. My reaction was in part to the fact that another store had been out of my crispy goodness as well.

I did research on the internet to see if this atrocious rumor had any validity and came up with nothing...only an old blurb about a bastard sibling of Cinnamon Life that was quickly aborted in '78.

So I am fairly certain my Cinnamon is out there waiting for me because if you can't find it on the internet it isn't real, right?